Christian Morality
* Marriage
* Divorce
* Adultery
* Polygamy
* Incest
* Sodomy
* Oral Sex
* Having Sex During Menstruation
Prepare to be as surprised as we were after we had researched this subject. For, many of the conclusions, which are strictly Bible based, don't follow traditional Christian ideals, nor do they follow modern practices. However, recognize that our purpose isn't to liberalize or water down the traditional views of proper moral conduct, nor are we setting new strict standards. We are just showing what the Bible says, what the words actually mean, and how they are applied in Bible examples.
Unfortunately, due perhaps to the strict codes imposed upon themselves by celibate men and women, many religious doctrines overemphasize God's views regarding sexual conduct, while allowing equally-important matters of proper Christian conduct to fall into the background. On the other hand, many Christians have in fact allowed rules of proper sexual conduct to become somewhat of a joke, viewing them as 'old fashioned' and 'out of date.' Both extremes fall short of living a righteous life.
The Greek word for marriage is gamos, and the Greek word for wedding is nymphon. In most cases among the ancient patriarchs and the Israelites, a wedding or marriage usually consisted of four steps:
1. Paying the bride price and its acceptance by the potential bride's parents
2. Taking the bride
3. Consummation of the sex act and providing proof of virginity
4. The wedding feast.
As you can see, the ancient process of marriages and weddings are quite different from modern western customs, and more similar to those which are practiced in Islam today. There was no 'wedding ceremony,' no preacher or priest, and no governmental certification or registration.
Of course, God created the marriage arrangement when he brought the first woman to Adam. And in this way, he set the example for the meaning of marriage. Notice what Adam himself understood about this, for he said (at Genesis 2:23, 24): 'This is now bone from my bones and flesh from my flesh. She will be called woman, because she was taken from man. And because of this, a man will leave his father and mother and bond with his wife; and the two will become one flesh.'
So, two people become one in the act of having sex and in the overall relationship.
In the Bible examples, each of the marriage partners had accepted roles to play; the husband as the protector, provider, father, and head, and the wife as mother and housekeeper. Also, to keep harmony in the relationship, Paul (the Apostle) urged (at Ephesians 5:33) husbands to love their wives as they do themselves, and wives to have a 'Godly fear' or 'deep respect' for their husbands.
Of course, ancient Israel was a male-dominated society, and the Bible's examples reflected the customs of the time. However, showing love and deep respect will always strengthen a relationship.
The Greek word for divorce is apoluo, which means to unbind or set loose. And although we can think of no Bible examples of faithful men or women who divorced their wives or husbands, the Old Law did make such a provision. For at Deuteronomy 24:3-6 we read: 'If you take a wife, and after living with her, you find that you no longer love her because of some disgusting thing that she may have done, you may write out a divorce certificate (gr. bibliou apostasiou) and put it into her hands, then send her away from your home. And if she chooses to remarry after she leaves her first husband (due to the fact that her first husband didn't care for here and divorced her and sent her away), and this [second] husband should die, the former husband may not remarry her after she has had sex with the other man, because that is a disgusting thing before Jehovah your God. You must not dirty the land that Jehovah your God is giving you to inherit.'
Then Jesus later elaborated on the meaning of this scripture, for, notice the question that the Pharisees asked him and his reply, as found at Matthew 19:2-9: 'However, the Pharisees came to test him, asking, Is it legal for a man to release his wife on just any sort of grounds?
'And [Jesus] replied: Didn't you read that the One who created them long ago made them male and female, and said, This is the reason why a man will leave his father and mother and stick to his wife, because the two will be one flesh? So, they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, no man should separate what God has put together under the same yoke!
'Then they asked, So, why did Moses say that we could give her a divorce certificate and dismiss her?
'And he answered: Moses, realizing how hardhearted you are, allowed that you would divorce your wives. But it hasn't always been that way! I tell you that; Whoever divorces his wife (except on the grounds of sexual immorality) and marries another, is an adulterer!'
Therefore, it is clear that divorce for reasons other than sexual infidelity puts both husband and wife in a bad relationship with God, for this shows a lack of respect for what they have vowed and a selfish lack of true love. And note that 'sexual immorality,' as used in the scripture above, indicates a lewd sexual act with someone outside the marriage arrangement, not some act between husband and wife.
However, the Scriptures do make provisions to annul a marriage whenever the husband had expected his wife to be a virgin, but she proved not to be. This was the reason why ancient marriages were consummated prior to attending the wedding feast.
The Greek word that is often translated as fornication is porneia. However, in this Bible we have more accurately translated it as sexual immorality, because porneia actually refers to something that is sold, as in the lewd sexual performances of a prostitute, not just copulation. Note that it does not imply self-masturbation, but it does imply sexual acts with any person with whom one is not married.
In the Bible, any woman who commits porneia with someone other than her mate is referred to as a whore. And in the Old Law, we find this injunction at Deuteronomy 23:17: 'There may be no whores among the daughters of Israel; nor may there be any [men] among the sons of Israel who are sexually immoral.'
Why is it important for Christians to stay free from porneia? Paul explained it well at 1 Corinthians 6:15, 16, where he wrote: 'Don't you know that your bodies are all a part of the Anointed One? So, should I take one of the Anointed One's body parts and give it to a whore? May that never happen! Don't you know that whoever joins himself to a whore becomes one with her body? For he says: The two will become one flesh.'
So, according to Paul, our bodies are now a part of Jesus. And when we join to someone other that our husband or wife, we are defiling Jesus.
The Greek word that is often translated as adultery is moichao (pronounced moi-kow). It implies taking something that is mine (gr. moi), or an infidelity. Jesus indicated that any married person who keeps looking at a person who is not his/her mate so as to develop a deep desire to have that person, has already committed adultery in his/her heart.
Adultery is viewed as something particularly disgusting by God. In fact, it was one of the few things that was listed as a capital offense in the Old Law, and it was repeatedly cited as a primary reason for God bringing destruction upon Israel and Judah. Note, for example, His words against them as found at Jeremiah 5:7-9: 'So with them I've now become filled, for they have committed adultery, and whores find rest in their homes! Like horses they snort and are sex crazedÉ each one for the wife of his neighbor. Thus, over such things, should I not come to visit?'
However, there is some question as to when a divorced person who marries another is guilty of adultery. According to The Complete WordStudy Dictionary, the true meaning of Matthew 5:32 (as well as similar verses in Mark and Luke) is often misconstrued due to poor translating. For, most Bibles render the words there as reading, 'But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.'
As you can see, the implication is that any divorced woman, regardless of whether she is actually innocent of committing adultery, is deemed an adulteress when she is divorced. And anyone who thereafter marries her is then termed an adulterer. However, the dictionary mentioned above points out that these conclusions are incorrect, for they fail to recognize the subject of the sentence, which is the need to provide a rejected wife with a certificate of divorce. And when such a certificate is not given upon dismissal, it implies that she has been an adulteress. And thereafter, anyone who marries her is assumed to be an adulterer.
Actually, according to the Old Law, marrying a legally-divorced woman was allowed, and neither person was styled as an adulterer or adulteress; and if such a thing were wrong, it certainly would have been mentioned in that detailed list of God's Laws (see Deuteronomy 24:3-6).
In that ancient male-dominated society, the word moichao (adultery) was generally used to describe the act of an unfaithful wife, not that an unfaithful husband. However, Jesus expanded the term to include husbands who were unfaithful to their wives, and to those men who would marry someone else's unfaithful wife.
So, what Jesus appears to be saying at Matthew 5:32 is that a legal (certificated) divorce is the end of a marriage contract. And if the faithful but legally released wife chooses to remarry, being given a divorce certificate frees her from the social stigma of being called an adulteress.
While admitting that our view of these scriptures could possibly be wrong (and we don't wish to mislead), the problem we have with the customary translation of these verses (and the reason why we have done further research on the meanings of these words) is that such an apparent law is the only one that we are aware of in the Bible, which identifies the victim (a faithful wife who has been unfairly released) as a sinner.
Here is one case where early Mormons may have been right, for a deep study of the Bible shows that there are no laws forbidding polygamy, and that God in many cases actually directed and blest the taking of more than one wife and/or concubine, as in the case of Jacob. Outstanding polygamous men who were blest include Job, Abraham, Jacob, David, Solomon, and many others. In fact, God symbolically spoke of Himself as having more than one wife in Ezekiel 23.
In the case of levirate marriage (taking the wife of a dead brother), polygamy may have actually been required by God, since the laws on this do not mention that the man who takes his brother's wife must not already be married.
Yes, the standard set by God in the Paradise was one husband and one wife. And at Deuteronomy 17:17, Israelite kings were instructed not to accumulate many wives. However, the reason given for this was so that they would not lead the kings away from pure worship, as happened in the case of Solomon, not because polygamy was immoral.
Another scripture that is often quoted to show that polygamy was forbidden to Christians is 1 Timothy 3:2. For, many Bibles quote Paul as writing that 'overseers (or bishops) should be husbands of one wife.' However, the fact that this statement had to be made proves that some Christians did have multiple wives. For more information on the proper translation of this verse, see the linked Note, One-Woman Man.
It is interesting, though, that by the First Century, polygamy was not common among the Jews. Rather, as Jesus pointed out, the custom was to divorce wives and get new ones. But the reason for this change in custom appears to have been brought on by Roman occupation, for polygamy was frowned on, if not forbidden by the Romans. And if so, here is an unusual case of ethnics setting moral standards for God's people.
The Greek word that is often translated as concubine is pallake.
According to Wikipedia, 'A concubine is generally a woman in an ongoing, matrimonial-like relationship with a man, whom she cannot marry for a specific reason. The reason may be because she is of lower social rank than the man (including slave status) or because the man is already married. Generally, only men of high economic and social status have concubines. Many historical rulers maintained concubines as well as wives.
'Historically, concubinage was frequently voluntary (by the woman and/or her family's arrangement), as it provided a measure of economic security for the woman involved. Today, concubinage is reserved for the most apex alphas who can maintain a de facto harem with concurrent long term relationships.
'In opposition to those laws, traditional Western laws do not acknowledge the legal status of concubines, rather only admitting monogamous marriages. Any other relationship does not enjoy legal protection, making the woman essentially a mistress.'
In patriarchal times, concubines were usually slaves, and as the result, their offspring were referred to as 'home-born servants' (see Ecclesiastes 2:7). AbraHam, for example, was known to have more than a hundred of such offspring (see Genesis 14:14). And although many have written to argue this conclusion, note God's instructions to AbraHam, when He was making the Agreement with him involving circumcision (Genesis 17:12): 'All of your male children must be circumcised by you when they are eight-days old, throughout all your generations. [This includes all the] servants who are born in your house, and those who are bought with money (the sons of aliens who are not your seed).' Notice that those who are home-born are differentiated from those who are not the seed of AbraHam.
Incest may or may not be immoral, for in many of the cases that we read of in the Bible, marriage between brothers and sisters was either the only option (as in the case of Adam's children), or it was the safest option (as in Abraham's choice of his half-sister Sarah). However, it was for the welfare of the resulting offspring that God eventually included an injunction against such close family marriages in the Old Law (when the prevalence of genetic defects could cause harm). So, taking a husband or wife from as close a relative as a brother or sister is not immoral, it simply isn't safe.
However, marrying, or having sex with, or exposing the nakedness of fathers, mothers, aunts, uncles, sister-in-laws, brother-in-laws, your children, or their mates, or their children is immoral, because; according to Leviticus 18:6-22, you are shaming another relative who is closer by also uncovering their nakedness (see the account for examples).
Masturbation is simply viewed as a nasty practice that is frowned on by the Bible. However, it is not specifically forbidden anywhere. The practice of masturbation is specifically addressed in the Old Law at Leviticus 15:16-18, which reads, 'Any man who ejaculates semen must wash his whole body and be unclean until evening. And every piece of clothing, or any skin on which there is semen must be washed with water and be unclean until evening. And when any woman goes to bed with a man and receives his semen, they must both bathe in water and be unclean until evening.'
So, notice that the practice was considered unclean, but no more so than normal sexual relations.
Of course, many Christians quote Jesus' words found at Matthew 5:28 to prove that masturbation is wrong. For there he said: 'But I tell you that he who stares at a woman, and develops a desire [to have] her, has already committed adultery in his heart.'
So, was Jesus forbidding masturbation? Well, Jesus specifically mentioned adultery here, not porneia. So, the implication is that married men were urged to be satisfied by their own wives, not to lust after other women. And obviously; lusting after another man's woman amonts to covetousness, which is forbidden as the Tenth Commandment.
Then going on, notice that Job said (as recorded at Job 31:1, 2): 'I've made a vow with my eyes, that I'll not pay attention to virginsÉ for, what I have came from God up above; the inheritance of what the Most High sees fit.' However, notice his situation, as found at Job 19:17, 18: 'I call out to even my wife, and call sweetly to the sons of my concubines. Yet, they listen notÉ they just stand there.' So, it appears as though in that ancient society there was no shortage of women for those who could afford them.
Sodomy is linked to the Bible only by its ties to the name of the unrighteous people of the city of Sodom who were destroyed for seeking to have sex with other men (in this case, angels). That such an unnatural act by men against other men is frowned on by God, is indicated by the words of Jude, when he likened their actions to the angels who lowered themselves by having unnatural sexual relations with 'the daughters of mankind' (see Genesis 6:4 and Jude 1:6, 7).
Males who sodomize other males are specifically mentioned at 1 Corinthians 6:9, 10 as people who 'will not inherit God's Kingdom.' For there they are referred to as arsenokoitai, which literally translates as, 'male bed-ers.'
But it should be noted that a more likely reason for God's destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah (other than for the attempted act of sodomy) was because of the people's violent mistreatment of strangers. Consider, for example, the reasons that God gave for His destroying those cities, as found at Ezekiel 16:49
Does the sodomizing of a willing mate fall under the same condemnation? Although this is likely an 'unclean act,' there is no specific mention of it in the Bible, although this was surely practiced in ancient times.
Oral sex has surely been practiced by women on men and men on women through the ages, and it is never mentioned nor forbidden in the Bible. It could possibly be viewed as an 'unclean act,' but the practice between married couples should, in the absence of Bible instructions, be considered a matter of personal conscience.
On the other hand; the practice of oral sex between unmarried persons of the same or the opposite gender surely qualifies as porneia, and is the same as any other immoral sex act.
God considers having sex with any lower animal something disgusting. For, His Law at Exodus 22:19 says, 'Anyone who [has sex] with an animal must be put to death.' And at Leviticus 18:23, 24 it says, 'Nor may you lie down and have sex with any animal, for that would pollute you. Nor should any woman offer herself before any animal to breed with it, for that is detestable!'
Although many people no longer view the practice of homosexuality as immoral, it is still considered a 'disgusting act' by God. For, He said in His Law (at Leviticus 18:22), 'You must not go to bed with a man as [you would] with a woman, because that's disgusting.'
Then at Romans 1:26, 27, Paul once again described God's view, when he wrote: 'And this is why God abandoned them to their dishonorable passions; for their females changed the natural use of themselves into something that's unnatural, and the same is true of their males; for they left the natural use of females and started burning in their lust toward each other Ð males with males Ð doing what is indecent and receiving the type of reward they deserve for such wrongdoing.'
Also, at 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 Paul wrote: 'Don't you know that those who are unrighteous won't inherit the Kingdom of God? Don't make any mistakes about this; Sexually immoral people, idol worshipers, adulterers, gays, men who have sex with men, thieves, greedy people, drunkards, insulters, and extortionists won't inherit God's KingdomÉ and that's what some of you once were! However, you've been washed clean; you've been made holy; and you've been found righteous through the name of our Lord Jesus the Anointed and the Breath of our God.'
Notice that Paul was saying: 1st Century Christians had once practiced homosexuality, but they had left those (as well as many other) bad practices, and made themselves clean, holy, and righteous. However, like those who practice other forms of immorality and corrupt lifestyles (which are just as bad), they are simply considered the unrighteous. And although they won't inherit the Kingdom, Paul said (as recorded at Acts 24:15) that there would be a resurrection for both 'the righteous and the unrighteous.' And the promise at Revelation 21:7 is that all who are resurrected and 'conquer' will 'inherit these things.'
All we know about this matter is that God viewed a man's having sex with his wife during her monthly period as a defilement of her, so it was forbidden under the Old Law. And in Ezekiel 18:5, 6, a man in whom God finds favor is described as someone 'who is fair, righteous, and just; who doesn't feast in the mountains to idols; whose eyes are not [filled up with pride]; whose thoughts are of the house of IsraEl; who doesn't defile the wife of his neighbor, nor does he defile his own wife, by going near her during her menstruation.'